A new day

 So yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my ex-husband asking for a divorce and remembering what my father had done to me. I fully expected it to be a terrible day but had some to peace with it over the last two weeks. But I was surprised what the day had in store for me. 

Good vibes rolled through me all day. Small victories piled up at work, layering into the personal of the day and making it amazing. No one thing stands out other than I accepted whatever the day would bring. I let it flow and did not force anything. That is a HUGE win for me. I am used to being in fight or flight mode for most of my life. I am used to not feeling worthy or enough. I am used to being told I am TOO much, whatever that means. I am used to feeling shame for no reason and not feeling adequate.

But no longer. I KNOW I am worthy and enough, just as I am. Scars and all, I am TOO much for those who cannot the handle the me I was meant to become. I let go of the shame and feeling undeserving. God saw me through the dark and is rebuilding me in the light. He is making me known to myself and others. 

So that is what the pain brought me to and through.