Old thought patterns are hard to shake. When I feel rejected or not worthy of something, I get triggered and want to do bad things. Nothing that puts me in harm's way but nothing that serves where I am in my life.
I miss Anthony. I miss him so much that it hurts. I know his focus has to be his kids. I know he loves me. He tells me and shows me in the best way he can. But going from seeing him every day, sleeping with him, living my life with him in almost every way to texts daily and the occasional phone call is the worst for me.
His cancer has already robbed us of so much. I refuse to let it rob me of my peace. I am worthy, I am loved, I am respected. I am powerful and magical. I am a badass mother fucker, to use his words. I am strong and amazing. I claim my power back. Fuck the old ways of thinking.
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