This is going to sound selfish. I am letting it out here so I get it out of my head. I am afraid when Anthony comes home to visit he will not want to be at home with me but stay with his kids at his ex wife’s house.
I get how awful that sounds. It is fair for him to do so because they are his children. How terrible would I be if I said no, you can’t stay where your kids are, you have to be with me only.
I just feel like I am the one to be left behind or left out. I feel like I am going to be the one losing him. This makes me feel awful and guilty but it’s where my head is at today.
His kids give him purpose and a sense of being able to beat this. I know he loves me. That is not in doubt. But I am afraid of losing him before cancer may take him.
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