New energy shift

 I am working hard on forgiveness to my father and myself. I am on repeat a lot of needing to do this to move forward in my life. Not forgiving him or me does nothing but hold me back.

I forgive my dad for what he did to me, for breaking that sacred trust a parent should hold as inviolable. I forgive my dad for not doing better and not protecting me. I forgive him for being the monster in the dark, the shadow man, the reason I was afraid for most of my life and never knowing why. 

I forgive myself for being a child and not knowing or remembering anything. I forgive myself for being a child and not deserving what happened to me. It was NOT my fault. The young me did nothing wrong and should have been protected.

So what is the new energy shift? It is breaking generational curses and traumas so my children do not suffer the same patterns. It is stopping the abuse with me. It stops now. I refuse to let my father have my pen and being able to write any more pages in my book or the family book. It is knowing I AM worthy of love and self respect. It is knowing I am better than all the trauma of my past. It  is knowing I am more than a survivor, I AM a THRIVER. 

I am loved. I am cared for. I am strong. I am seen. I am believed. I am happier now with so much more to come in my story. The past is just that, the past. It is part of who I am and was, but no longer who I will be. 

I release all the negativity it brings and brought. I release all the anger, shame, sorrow, fear, and so much more. I welcome in self confidence, self love, self worth. feelings of belonging in all areas of my life. I welcome in new love and know I am worthy of that from someone who sees all the parts of me. I welcome in financial security and the freedom of knowing I can take care of myself and my family. I welcome in friends and family who love me and my children. I welcome in new and exciting things to come- travel, job changes, and exciting challenges and overcoming fears.

I have set a goal in my life to attain a purple belt in a year's time in brazilian jiu-jitsu, travel to the Caribbean and Ireland in 2024, and grow my small business to help support my family. I share these to hold myself accountable, and show that anyone can work to overcome trauma and live a healthier, beautiful, strong life.

You want to see what I can do? Tell me I can't and watch me prove you, myself, and everyone who tells me ‘NO’ how wrong we are. I am me, I show up for me. I show up for my kids and I will thrive in this new chapter.